Ok, I'm going to do this. I'm joining the blogging world and putting my adventure to incredible health online. It's been working well on my private blog to vent and digest separating from my husband and now it's time to venture into the real of taking care of my body. It just occured to me that I really need to be putting all of this info into one spot. For, one cannot existing without the other: my mental health and balance is not separate from my physical health & balance. Ok. So, I'm going to switch over to using this blog. I like it because I can publish from it and can't from the msn site. (What a bunch of losers they are. They just copy all the creative stuff that other people develop.)
Now, for the photos that I'll always come back to....photos taken in April 2007 and I really don't have many current pix of me because I've been avoiding the camera. I feel fat, tired, ugly, spent, exhausted, achey, stiff and generally unhealthy. This is the worst health I've ever been in. I've been overtaxed with being a mom (relatively), running my own business and coming out of the fog of the last three years of marriage to a verbally and abusive man (more about that later, of course).
I'm thinking that I'm going to change the permissions so that only I can see this. I think that I'll feel so much freer writing only to myself.
So, below are the before photos. I can't get any heavier or unhealthier than I am right now. This is it. God grant me the powers to change what I can....because i'm not going to set back and accept that this is the condition my body will be in for the rest of my life. Certainly, I'd be looking at a shorter life if I continue on this track.
At this point, I've got a belly that's starting to lap over itself, heavy hips, thighs and even calves. I'm not getting any regular exercise, even though I do try to get a little extra movement in while playing with Cassie. My face is not well defined and I wake up with circles under the eyes, wrinkles and a stiffness that is not to be believed (of course, sleeping on a fold-out bed does not provide the best support!).
I just turned 41. I have a huge, red "you are here" dot following over my head. I don't even want to shake it. I'm middle aged! The pop press would beg to differ (50 is the new thirty or some sort of b.s. like that), but the truth is, I'm middle aged. My daughter is almost 3 years old and I don't want her to see my body as her role model. Rather, I don't want her to use my health habits as a role model. She deserves so much more.
My mom was almost always heavy. The one time she wasn't, she was doing hour long walks to get exercise! She really booked around those backroads of Lacey, WA! And she took time out of her day to do it. She did it sometimes when my sister and I were home which I now admire, because right now, I find it hard to do anything without Cassie. I feel guilty and stressed when I take time away from her to take care of myself.
I can type a lot faster than I can write! I'm losing my touch for hand writing, though. I'll have to figure out ways to keep up to speed in that dept.
Anyway, Mom was always heavy. Still is. She's generally healthy at 65, but has high choloresterol and I'm worried about future health issues. I have an underactive thyroid which I take meds for and I'm on two antidepressants to keep it all together. I'd love to get off some of the meds and I certainly want to fend off any possible diabetes.
Ok, here, finally are those pix. Next post: my plan
Stretch pants: not a great choice.
All butt & belly with some boobs stuck on top.
The rolls have got to go.
Is that really a chin?
